It seems there are three categories of hobos: 1) mentally or physically disabled, 2)people who have had some serious situation and need help getting back on their feet, and 3) lazy-con artists.
Most of the hobos I have seen are either on road intersections with cardboard signs or hanging out in front of convenience stores drinking beer out of paper sacks. I'm willing to bet that the distribution is as follows:
Disabled - 5%
real problem - 5%
lazy people - 90%
Here's a few amusing (albeit disgusting) examples I've come across that disturb me
Con #1
A man approached me in a parking lot and said that he and his wife had come to town from San Antonio to look for work and they needed a few bucks for lunch. He looked sincere so I gave him a couple of dollars and went to my car. I then saw him back out of his parking space in a nice 2007 pickup truck with all the options, probably with a $35,000 rig. I bet he had a big engine, triple cup holders, leather steering wheel, heated massage seats, and those chrome naked girl mudflaps.
Con #2
I walked up to a convenience store and a shaggy looking guy asked for a dollar to get something to eat. I gave him a buck, got my stuff in the store and as i was leaving I saw him inside buying two "big boy" beers. On a later date, I saw the same guy digging through a trash can looking for food. I think he wound up with McNuggets (with honey mustard sauce), a half eaten wing rom "Red Cap Chicken), and a tepid cup of diet coke.
Con #3
My friend Jodi was at a red light and a cardboard sign guy approached him with the standard "Anything helps" sign. I bet there is a secret store where these guys buy these signs at. Jodi gave him a buck; the guy reached in his pocket and pulled out a large roll of bills. He folded back the 20s, then the 10s, then the 5s, and put Jodi's dollar with the 1s.
Con #4
I walked out of a corner store and saw a guy walk off the curb in the street and almost get hit by a car. I ran over and yelled at him to back up. He was totally blind. His eyes were a mess. He told me that he came in from Tennessee and was trying to get to a special shelter north of town that helped handicapped folks like himself. He needed to get to 11th street to catch a bus to this place and asked me for some money to get a ride up there. I told him there was a bus station a block away that would take him there. He said the buses don't stop there. I offered to take him on my scooter all the way to 11th street so he climbed on the back and off we went. This is a half hour ride so I thought I was being a pretty darned nice guy. Thirty seconds later he asked if I had 20 dollars to help him out. I told him I had no money (the truth). "You can let me off right here". I stopped and he got off.
Con #5
I saw a trashy looking cardboard sign guy: "hungry, need money to eat". A car pulled up and handed out a bag of food to the guy. He refused it and walked to the next car asking for money.
Bottom line: The vast majority of "homeless" people choose that lifestyle. They prey on soft hearted people to feed their booze and smoke habits while they eat out of trash cans.
They have no interest in working to stay alive. They know they can con people. This is bad because it hurts the people that actually need the help. The worst part about all this is that they are dirty and a total fashion disaster. Their shirts never match their pants, they rarely have a belt on, and they typically wear socks that are lighter than their pants. Gives me the shivers.
Here's the "phillip plan" that hobos could use if they really wanted to back on their feet.
1. Beg on a corner until you get 20 dollars.
2. Go to walmart and buy a razor, bar of soap, pair of scissors, a gallon of water, and a new collared shirt.
3. find some place to wash off with soap and water, shave, and cut your hair short.
4. Beg on a corner for another 20 dollars.
5. Go to salvation army and get pants, shoes and belt, and maybe a "dance moves" VHS tape.
6. Beg for another 20 dollars.
7. go to grocery and buy 20 dollars worth of peanut butter, bread, and other items that will keep you alive for a week.
8. Put on your nice clothes and go door to door asking if you can do any work for 5 dollars.
9. Repeat until you have earned the trust of a business owner and they hire you.
LESLIE The Homeless CrossDresser
There is a famous homeless guys in Austin named "Leslie". Leslie is a 60 year old crossdresser with shaggy hair and shaved legs. He always has a bra and fake boobs on (a D cup at least), and most of the time a miniskirt. He works at a hippy coffee shop bussing tables. Last year, some enterprising person designed a "Leslie mix and match clothing Refrigerator magnet set". It came with various clothing magnets that you could dress up Leslie with. He promised Leslie 25% of the cheddar. He sold TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS WORTH. They were the hit gift last Christma. Leslie took his five large and bought a big shed at Home depot and put it in some lady's backyard that liked him. He then bought a used big screen TV and a stack of VHS movies. Pretty cool use of that money, huh?
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