The History of my Pathtic Choice in Vehicles

Most folks take time and figure out what sort of car they need, go buy it, and live happily ever after. Not me, and it is not surprising; it's in my genes. My dad actually paid money for a Ford Pinto. My brother Robert bought a Chevrolet Vega. These are two of the worst automobiles (and i use that term loosely) that ever came out of Detroit.
I'll discuss three vehicles here that all started when I bought my first hot air balloon in 1986.
1. Gray truck
So I needed a truck to haul the balloon around in. I found a pretty darned nice looking one, gray, with seats with no rips. Only one problem; six cylinder. Load up the balloon and two people and 60 was pretty much max speed. Then it got worse, much worse. I bought a new balloon and it came with a trailer. Towing the trailer now meant a maximum speed of about 50 or 55 with a best gas mileage of about 10. Yes, ten miles per gallon. We did a trip from Tennessee to Albuquerque, 22 hours in this lumbering thing, never exceeding 55.
2. Jeep Cherokee
HA!! This is a worthless piece of shit of a car. I thought the word "jeep" would mean a rugged vehicle with a big engine and skid plates, and tow hooks, and big gas tank, and all that, making my gray truck look like a mommy car. Well, It's not. This thing also had a six cylinder, 4 speed, 18 gallon gas tank, no skid plates, plastic everything, and so on. I have no idea why i bought it, but back then i was really relentless about not changing my mind. Hook up the trailer, and yep, it would do 55 i 4th gear, and if you floored it in 5th gear, you could get 65. That is, until you approached a hill at which time it would promptly grind to a stop unless you downshifted back to 4th, which meant max speed of 55 again. It also tended to overheat when pulling the trailer so I would come barreling into the parking lot of a balloon race, smoke bellowing from under the hood, with the back end looking like a ghetto car. YEs, that was another thing, the suspension on these things are meant for "mommies" to take their kids to soccer practice. We called it the "sag wagon". I had to go install air shocks just to get the rear end up enough so it did not rake the muffler on small bumps.
3. Ford Explorer
Finally a REAL vehicle i thought!
Whatever, it is a cushy mommie car as well, narrow (not built on a real truck frame), underpowered, sags in the back, small gas tank, but I will say that it would pull the trailer pretty well at 65. Crappy mileage when hauling the balloon of course. This thing was really expensive and had all sorts of unnecessary options like "puddle lamps".
4. Miata.
enough said

Finally, after two decades, I bought a real vehicle; a ford pickup (f150), which happens to be the most popular vehicle ever sold in the US. Good reason; it is a real vehicle. The V8 engine hauls my balloon at 90 if I want. Suspension is solid, plenty of power, 18 mpg even with the balloon in the back, 25 gallon tank, and so on. I is white, sleek, and means business.

Oh, i forgot, i also bought a scooter, that RULES. it is a yamaha vino, gets 75 mpg, looks sleek, and allows me and my shortie to go downtown and park right in front the restaurants and bars.